I know that I promised to regale you of tales of my encounter with Humbert Humbert, but you will have to continue to wait in anticipation for that story. This was my first week back at school with students (we started Thursday), and I feel pretty good about this year. I am vastly more organized and better prepared for this year, since it is my second rather than my first. In order to get to know my students, I am assigning them a personal essay assignment. For my AP Lit students, I gave the hardest task: to write a This I Believe essay. For those of you who are unfamiliar, This I Believe was started in the '50s by Edward R Murrow, who commented that “Never has the need for personal philosophies of this kind been so urgent.” What it consists of is people sending in personal credos of around 400-500 words. They often begin with a concise statement of belief, such as "I believe you should be nice to the pizza delivery dude," or "I believe everyone deserves flowers on their grave." Believing that this was needed for the current day as well, NPR recently resurrected this project and is continuing to receive and broadcast essays from people of all walks of life.
Anyways, it is a daunting task to try to summarize your personal credo in so few words, so I thought it only right that I attempt it myself. Since my essay drew on the same poem that gave title to this blog, I thought it fitting that I share it here. Hope you enjoy!
I believe that Truth lies just beyond the pebble of quartz.
I find in my musings I often return to one of my favorite poems, Robert Frost’s “For Once, Then, Something.” In the poem, the speaker is kneeling at a well-curb, gazing into the depths of the water. At first, he sees only his reflection, but one time the speaker peers “beyond the picture” to catch a glimpse of “something white, uncertain, something more of the depths.” But then he loses it. The poem concludes with the speaker pondering what that whiteness was: “Truth? A pebble of quartz? For once, then, something.” I have always loved that line for the sheer magnitude of it, for its incomparable breadth. In it the pendulum swings from the most abstract, Truth, to the most concrete, a pebble of quartz. Within this span I find the entirety of human experience in looking for elusive Truth.
At times in my own personal journey I’ve searched and found nothing but a pebble of quartz. Looking for the sublime, I could find only the banal. I remember once spending an afternoon with my aunt Marilyn at the Saint Louis Zoo, my aunt the missionary—who had sold her possessions to give to the poor and to be free to travel to unpronounceable countries ending in –ezekistan to carry her care for the unreached and unloved to the corners of the earth. She marveled at the intricacies of the natural world and wondered how anyone could behold such sights and wonders and not believe in God. She spoke as Moses would have descending from Mount Sinai, face glowing with the radiation of God’s truth, and in response I could offer nothing but silence. I could see how people could not believe, how it was more probable that such things could arise from nature through evolution than having been created by some unseen and all-powerful God. I searched the well, but could only identify that uncertain whiteness as an ordinary, bland, sliver of uninspiring quartz.
Yet, despite my doubts I cannot escape belief. I cannot wander. I stay affixed to the well-curb, peering into those depths, and in pursuing I’ve glimpsed more than the rough edges of pebbles and perhaps even stumbled upon Truth. Though reason pulls me toward the concrete, intuition, which holds a stronger sway, leads me on. And so I believe that if you ask, Truth will be given to you; search, and you shall find Truth. Although you may need to kneel often at the well-curb, Truth stands knocking at the door, waiting for you to open it.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
A Fire Shut Up In Our Bones
My Sunday School group is reading this group study book called "Interrupted," which is written not from the perspective of one who has all the answers, but a "bumbling, fumbling, searching, questioning sojourner." In the first chapter I ran across a quote (note: I refuse to use the word quotation) that I had been lingering in the back of my mind since a few weeks earlier when I encountered it in Birmingham. On the way back from Florida, the fam and I went to the Birmingham museum on civil rights, which was situation directly across the street from the 16th Street Baptist Church that was bombed in 1963 (killing 4 girls). It was both a harrowing and inspiring experience, as the exhibit asked you to confront both the demons of prejudice and the courage of the few who stood up for justice.
The quote in question was made by Martin Luther King, Jr. on the night before he was killed. The speech, "I've Been to the Mountaintop," was given in Memphis in support of a group of striking sanitation workers. Before getting to the quote I want to focus on, I want to share with you all his closing, which is sadly prophetic considering the events of the following day, but resonates with the tenor of MLK's philosophy:
Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
What really arrests my attention from the speech, however, is the following quote. It speaks of a desire that I yearn for:
Who is it that is supposed to articulate the longings and aspirations of the people more than the preacher? Somehow the preacher must have a kind of fire shut up in his bones and whenever injustice is around, he must tell it. Somehow the preacher must be an Amos, and say, "When God speaks, who can but prophesy?" Again, with Amos, "Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream." Somehow, the preacher must say with Jesus, "The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to deal with the problems of the poor."
More than 2,000 Bible verses convey God's demand that we champion the poor and oppressed. Jesus' last words to Peter were, "If you love me, feed my sheep" (which, I would argue, includes the fullest sense of the phrase, feeding both spiritually and physically). These facts indicate that the fire that MLK speaks of should reside not solely in preachers, but in all who call themselves Christians. Faced with this, I must acknowledge the cognitive dissonance I allow myself in light of the priorities I set for my life. Although I want to make a difference in the lives of others and make this world a better place, in general I want most to remain safe and comfortable. Comfort, however, is not promised in the pages of the Bible; in fact, it is the opposite that we are assured of. If I truly evaluate myself, I am not practicing sacrificial giving, not even close.
More on this in my next post, where I reveal how I met a real-life Humbert Humbert. Stay tuned!
The quote in question was made by Martin Luther King, Jr. on the night before he was killed. The speech, "I've Been to the Mountaintop," was given in Memphis in support of a group of striking sanitation workers. Before getting to the quote I want to focus on, I want to share with you all his closing, which is sadly prophetic considering the events of the following day, but resonates with the tenor of MLK's philosophy:
Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
What really arrests my attention from the speech, however, is the following quote. It speaks of a desire that I yearn for:
Who is it that is supposed to articulate the longings and aspirations of the people more than the preacher? Somehow the preacher must have a kind of fire shut up in his bones and whenever injustice is around, he must tell it. Somehow the preacher must be an Amos, and say, "When God speaks, who can but prophesy?" Again, with Amos, "Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream." Somehow, the preacher must say with Jesus, "The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to deal with the problems of the poor."
More than 2,000 Bible verses convey God's demand that we champion the poor and oppressed. Jesus' last words to Peter were, "If you love me, feed my sheep" (which, I would argue, includes the fullest sense of the phrase, feeding both spiritually and physically). These facts indicate that the fire that MLK speaks of should reside not solely in preachers, but in all who call themselves Christians. Faced with this, I must acknowledge the cognitive dissonance I allow myself in light of the priorities I set for my life. Although I want to make a difference in the lives of others and make this world a better place, in general I want most to remain safe and comfortable. Comfort, however, is not promised in the pages of the Bible; in fact, it is the opposite that we are assured of. If I truly evaluate myself, I am not practicing sacrificial giving, not even close.
More on this in my next post, where I reveal how I met a real-life Humbert Humbert. Stay tuned!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Shark Week!!!
During the past year I have come to have a somewhat disparaging view of both the Discovery and History channel. Their names for me have long been a strong ethos appeal, and I have, perhaps foolishly, never really questioned their credibility.
No longer. This year, I have watched some of their shows that left me feeling they are only pandering to our need for the sensational and have a greater fidelity to ratings than to accuracy. Coupled with intriguing accounts of the final days of WWII or ancient Egyptian burial rituals are shows detailing the history (and possible existence? they not-so-subtly imply) of the Loch Ness monster, shows describing UFO sightings, and shows exploring the possibility of Michael Jackson being a reincarnated Jesus (okay, that one was made up).
However, this is redemption week, at least for the Discovery Channel. It's Shark Week. I have only watched a couple of hours, but so far it has been fascinating. I watched a man swim with sharks in the ocean and test them by caressing them as they swim by. He states that he is looking for their personality type, based on their reaction. In particular, he is looking for a "player," a shark that are curious and want to interact with him. He was swimming with two of them and touched them and sort of played with them almost like they were dolphins. Then, the two sharks fled as a larger great white approached, who was more aggressive. The swimmer then had to display signs of aggression in order keep the shark from attacking. The end result: great television.
He found that close to the snout sharks have these sensors that sharks respond to greatly when touched. One shark even went into tonic immobility, which is a coma-like trance, that sharks often go into when turned upside down. It is the strangest thing; they can stay in this trance for about 15 minutes, and scientists often insert trackers into their skin (thus cutting them open), and the sharks don't respond at all. It is still unclear why sharks do this, but scientists on the show posited that it could be for females a way to ensure that her eggs get fertilized due to the limited movement. Still, this doesn't completely explain the mystery, since male sharks also experience tonic immobility, though often to a lesser degree.
Another delightful tidbit! Hammerhead sharks: are their bizarrely shaped heads a freak mistake of nature, or a masterpiece of evolution? It turns out that they are particularly well-formed for attacking their prey, which hides beneath the surface of the sand. Each end of the head has an eye and a nostril, which allows the hammerhead to triangulate the source of its prey. Moreover, it has these pores that ooze out a conductive material that allows the shark to sense the bioelectricity of its buried prey, which is carried beyond its body by the conductive salt water. That, is really freaking cool. Bioelectricity sensors! It's even possible that these sensors are what give sharks the navigation abilities to make their transocean yearly migrations.
One of the most dangerous sharks for humans is the Bull shark. A reason for this is this shark's ability to pass freely from salt to fresh waters. It can thrive in both, so it can pass from the ocean waters to swim inland, into waters that look benign and attrack human swimmers.
These are just a few examples of how interesting sharks are. But seriously, the main reason I'm interested in them is because they are clearly the baller-est animals on earth. Great Whites breaching off the coast of South Africa and tearing into a minuscule-seeming seal offers probably the best evidence that these are the greatest predators on earth. Perhaps you are thinking that this is yet another instance of the Discovery Channel's addiction to spectacle. But, oh! What a spectacle it is!
No longer. This year, I have watched some of their shows that left me feeling they are only pandering to our need for the sensational and have a greater fidelity to ratings than to accuracy. Coupled with intriguing accounts of the final days of WWII or ancient Egyptian burial rituals are shows detailing the history (and possible existence? they not-so-subtly imply) of the Loch Ness monster, shows describing UFO sightings, and shows exploring the possibility of Michael Jackson being a reincarnated Jesus (okay, that one was made up).
However, this is redemption week, at least for the Discovery Channel. It's Shark Week. I have only watched a couple of hours, but so far it has been fascinating. I watched a man swim with sharks in the ocean and test them by caressing them as they swim by. He states that he is looking for their personality type, based on their reaction. In particular, he is looking for a "player," a shark that are curious and want to interact with him. He was swimming with two of them and touched them and sort of played with them almost like they were dolphins. Then, the two sharks fled as a larger great white approached, who was more aggressive. The swimmer then had to display signs of aggression in order keep the shark from attacking. The end result: great television.
He found that close to the snout sharks have these sensors that sharks respond to greatly when touched. One shark even went into tonic immobility, which is a coma-like trance, that sharks often go into when turned upside down. It is the strangest thing; they can stay in this trance for about 15 minutes, and scientists often insert trackers into their skin (thus cutting them open), and the sharks don't respond at all. It is still unclear why sharks do this, but scientists on the show posited that it could be for females a way to ensure that her eggs get fertilized due to the limited movement. Still, this doesn't completely explain the mystery, since male sharks also experience tonic immobility, though often to a lesser degree.
Another delightful tidbit! Hammerhead sharks: are their bizarrely shaped heads a freak mistake of nature, or a masterpiece of evolution? It turns out that they are particularly well-formed for attacking their prey, which hides beneath the surface of the sand. Each end of the head has an eye and a nostril, which allows the hammerhead to triangulate the source of its prey. Moreover, it has these pores that ooze out a conductive material that allows the shark to sense the bioelectricity of its buried prey, which is carried beyond its body by the conductive salt water. That, is really freaking cool. Bioelectricity sensors! It's even possible that these sensors are what give sharks the navigation abilities to make their transocean yearly migrations.
One of the most dangerous sharks for humans is the Bull shark. A reason for this is this shark's ability to pass freely from salt to fresh waters. It can thrive in both, so it can pass from the ocean waters to swim inland, into waters that look benign and attrack human swimmers.
These are just a few examples of how interesting sharks are. But seriously, the main reason I'm interested in them is because they are clearly the baller-est animals on earth. Great Whites breaching off the coast of South Africa and tearing into a minuscule-seeming seal offers probably the best evidence that these are the greatest predators on earth. Perhaps you are thinking that this is yet another instance of the Discovery Channel's addiction to spectacle. But, oh! What a spectacle it is!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Educational and Humanitarian? Shut Yo' Mouth!
Have you all heard of the website freerice.com? This site is amazing! It has educational games that you can play and they donate 10 grains of rice for each question you get right. Sure, 10 grains is not much, but to date they have donated 80 billion grains of rice, so it adds up ( I personally have added 2,000 grains to the count just spending random moments on there in the past two days. Booyah!).
I have only played the Italian game (fairly easy) and the two English games (the grammar game is too easy, for me anyways, but the vocab one is very difficult. I got up to level 50 once, but couldn't stay there. I average around level 41-44. Can you beat that, without cheating?). So, do you have some time to waste? Check it out, exercise your mind, and add to the rice count.
(Half of this post was parenthetical. Did you notice?)
I have only played the Italian game (fairly easy) and the two English games (the grammar game is too easy, for me anyways, but the vocab one is very difficult. I got up to level 50 once, but couldn't stay there. I average around level 41-44. Can you beat that, without cheating?). So, do you have some time to waste? Check it out, exercise your mind, and add to the rice count.
(Half of this post was parenthetical. Did you notice?)
Monday, July 26, 2010
A Silent Year
Well, it's been a few days since my last post, so I thought I might post an update (if you are Mike or Dorage, most of this is taken from the email I sent you two, so you can skim it).
I just finished my first year of teaching, and what a blessed end it was. I loved this year, but I needed it to end. I felt so behind for most of the year it was like trying to hold up a mountain of water (that's right, a mountain of water): between planning for the next lesson, grading, and doing my certification stuff, it felt like something would always spill over and try to bury me. However, it was on the whole a "successful" year, meaning that I feel I did the best and accomplished the most that I should expect from myself. If five years from now I still have this many classroom management issues and a syllabus this loosely held together, then I'll have a problem, but I'll take it for year one.
Successes:
-I entered this year believing this was my calling, and I end it with that belief confirmed.
-I was correct in believing that I could "own" a classroom. With my seniors and my PreAP sophomores I was really able to make the classroom dynamic and enjoyable.
-Because of this, many seniors stated that I was their favorite teacher.
-I think they actually learned something too.
-Because of some assignments in my class and some personal assistance, several of my students got some scholarships for college.
-By the end of the year, I got where I could revel in my successes and, for the most part, shrug off the complaints or sheer rudeness of some of my trouble students (that is, undeserved complaints; those that struck home are a different story).
Failures:
-Grammar, what's that?
-My 5th and 7th periods, for a lot of the time. I let them get too out of hand.
-Shamefully, I came to dislike a lot of my students toward the end of the year. I didn't dislike them as people, and had great interactions with them outside of the classroom, but inside I just got worn down by some of them.
I believed the year so successful that I thought I was going to win the teacher of the year award. I only began to think this because several student council members told me they were going to vote for me, but I'm glad that I didn't win it. I think I was letting a little too much pride get to me. It's an easy pitfall as a teacher; when you've got a slew of students telling you you're an awesome teacher, it's easy to lose perspective. I think I will be a very good, possibly even a great teacher, but I'm not there yet.
In other news, Sara got a job! She just finished her MFA in creative writing in April and we were rather worried about her finding gainful employment since jobs are 1. in general scarce right now and 2. good teaching jobs are extremely scarce in South Arkansas right now. Some of the other jobs she was looking at were administrative, and only paid about $20,000 a year, which with our student loans isn't that great. But luckily she got an interview at Hope community college, and went and taught a mock lesson and went through 2 interviews and landed the job. There were about two weeks of silence after they told us they would know who they were going to hire, so we thought for sure she hadn't gotten it, but thankfully we were pleasantly surprised. I can't imagine what it will be like on two real incomes. Moreover, Sara will finally get to do what she and I both love: teaching.
So, what am I doing now that it's summer? Let's see, I (I have become fond of listing, you see):
-went on an amazingly relaxing trip to Florida and spent a went lounging on the beach and spending time with family.
-went to Austin, TX for a week to see my brother and to go to an AP Literature workshop (which was extremely helpful).
-went to KC to see my step-brother get married!
-spent the last two weeks and will spend this week as well in my training to finish getting my teaching license. It has been, to say the least, a frustrating experience. Some of it can be useful, but much of it has been worthless, or even worse, detrimental. I can't say I have much respect for the "research" of the field of education. In truth, there is some good that I can glean from most of what we are taught, but at times I let my attitude prevent that from happening. I'll be glad when I get to choose my professional development classes.
-read the following books in preparation for teaching AP Lit (again, a list!): 1. Crime and Punishment (with six pages of notes) 2. Oedipus Rex 3. Wuthering Heights 4. The Importance of Being Earnest 5. Trifles
There are only a few weeks of summer left. I will probably spend them working halfway diligently and then have to scramble to plan each night for the first month of school. But at the moment those concerns are far off, so I am content to tackle the most enjoyable aspects of planning only, reading great works of literature and sketching out the major components of my syllabus.
So, now that I have spoken again into the wind, will anyone hear? Could anyone still be keeping tabs on this long-dormant blog?
I hope so. God bless.
I just finished my first year of teaching, and what a blessed end it was. I loved this year, but I needed it to end. I felt so behind for most of the year it was like trying to hold up a mountain of water (that's right, a mountain of water): between planning for the next lesson, grading, and doing my certification stuff, it felt like something would always spill over and try to bury me. However, it was on the whole a "successful" year, meaning that I feel I did the best and accomplished the most that I should expect from myself. If five years from now I still have this many classroom management issues and a syllabus this loosely held together, then I'll have a problem, but I'll take it for year one.
Successes:
-I entered this year believing this was my calling, and I end it with that belief confirmed.
-I was correct in believing that I could "own" a classroom. With my seniors and my PreAP sophomores I was really able to make the classroom dynamic and enjoyable.
-Because of this, many seniors stated that I was their favorite teacher.
-I think they actually learned something too.
-Because of some assignments in my class and some personal assistance, several of my students got some scholarships for college.
-By the end of the year, I got where I could revel in my successes and, for the most part, shrug off the complaints or sheer rudeness of some of my trouble students (that is, undeserved complaints; those that struck home are a different story).
Failures:
-Grammar, what's that?
-My 5th and 7th periods, for a lot of the time. I let them get too out of hand.
-Shamefully, I came to dislike a lot of my students toward the end of the year. I didn't dislike them as people, and had great interactions with them outside of the classroom, but inside I just got worn down by some of them.
I believed the year so successful that I thought I was going to win the teacher of the year award. I only began to think this because several student council members told me they were going to vote for me, but I'm glad that I didn't win it. I think I was letting a little too much pride get to me. It's an easy pitfall as a teacher; when you've got a slew of students telling you you're an awesome teacher, it's easy to lose perspective. I think I will be a very good, possibly even a great teacher, but I'm not there yet.
In other news, Sara got a job! She just finished her MFA in creative writing in April and we were rather worried about her finding gainful employment since jobs are 1. in general scarce right now and 2. good teaching jobs are extremely scarce in South Arkansas right now. Some of the other jobs she was looking at were administrative, and only paid about $20,000 a year, which with our student loans isn't that great. But luckily she got an interview at Hope community college, and went and taught a mock lesson and went through 2 interviews and landed the job. There were about two weeks of silence after they told us they would know who they were going to hire, so we thought for sure she hadn't gotten it, but thankfully we were pleasantly surprised. I can't imagine what it will be like on two real incomes. Moreover, Sara will finally get to do what she and I both love: teaching.
So, what am I doing now that it's summer? Let's see, I (I have become fond of listing, you see):
-went on an amazingly relaxing trip to Florida and spent a went lounging on the beach and spending time with family.
-went to Austin, TX for a week to see my brother and to go to an AP Literature workshop (which was extremely helpful).
-went to KC to see my step-brother get married!
-spent the last two weeks and will spend this week as well in my training to finish getting my teaching license. It has been, to say the least, a frustrating experience. Some of it can be useful, but much of it has been worthless, or even worse, detrimental. I can't say I have much respect for the "research" of the field of education. In truth, there is some good that I can glean from most of what we are taught, but at times I let my attitude prevent that from happening. I'll be glad when I get to choose my professional development classes.
-read the following books in preparation for teaching AP Lit (again, a list!): 1. Crime and Punishment (with six pages of notes) 2. Oedipus Rex 3. Wuthering Heights 4. The Importance of Being Earnest 5. Trifles
There are only a few weeks of summer left. I will probably spend them working halfway diligently and then have to scramble to plan each night for the first month of school. But at the moment those concerns are far off, so I am content to tackle the most enjoyable aspects of planning only, reading great works of literature and sketching out the major components of my syllabus.
So, now that I have spoken again into the wind, will anyone hear? Could anyone still be keeping tabs on this long-dormant blog?
I hope so. God bless.
Monday, June 8, 2009
A Year in Review; Jobless No More!
This has been a restful, satisfying failure of a year. After a lifetime of deadlines and schoolwork, I was glad to finally have a break and to work a job that didn't come home with me. For this first time, my time was my own, which was good considering I was also adjusting to married life. As my first year of marriage, it was (almost) everything I could have asked for. Sara and I have walked deeper into the foolish belief that two independent people with habits and modes of living formed over decades could live peaceably together, and perhaps even love each other, and found that it might even be possible. We have had a sufficient amount of leisure to enjoy each other's company, and have been comforted to see conflict come less and less often in our relationship.
And yet in some ways this year has felt like a failure. Not one that I regret, but a failure none the less. I have enjoyed tutoring to a certain degree. Working with some students over time and watching their successes, such as getting into grad school with the personal statement we worked on or simply just improving their written English, was gratifying. But it wasn't teaching. It was a year on hold. An extremely non-lucrative year on hold.
And then my life course altered drastically and suddenly. I thought that I was going to be employed by the tutoring center over the summer, only to be informed three days prior to the end of the semester that I wouldn't be. That, coupled with our growing student loan debt, prompted me to action. I had planned on applying to teaching jobs in the area, but there hadn't really been any openings in all of northwest Arkansas, so we decided that it was time to expand our search. One area that we had considered moving to was around Lexington, Kentucky, since it was a pretty area and because it was where some close friends lived. I found out that there was a job fair specifically for teachers near Lexington that week, so we drove up there and found that Kentucky wasn't really a viable option. Since I'm not certified to teach, I have to go into a non-traditional licensure program wherever I want to teach. The options in KY all cost in the ten to twenty thousand dollar range, whereas the option here in Arkansas cost $2,400. So, it took travelling to Kentucky to find out that I needed to stay in my home state. Also, it wasn't until we discussed moving to KY that we realized that we could move since Sara has one more year left in her MFA, but she can finish her last year anywhere (she's mostly just working on her thesis, which is a manuscript length compilation of poetry).
So the past three weeks we have been travelling all over the state for interviews. The first place we visited, which was in Humphrey, was, well, sort of pathetic looking. It was in a shoddy little building with a hand-painted sign, surrounded by the ugly flatlands of the Arkansas delta. Inside it was nicer, and there were exciting aspects of the school, such as the fact that every student has a laptop, but ultimately it wasn't for us. It was a charter school of only 40 students, so the position didn't feel very secure, but mainly the issue was that we didn't think we could live in the delta. I believe that everyplace needs good teachers, and I feel drawn to serving the underserved, but the brown flatness of it depressed us.
We had some other failures, most notably not receiving a job offer that I thought for sure I was going to get from Pulaski Academy, which is one of the nicest schools in the state, but ultimately we found a school that we both felt good about. I received several job offers, but I decided to go with the one from Harmony Grove High School, which is just outside of Camden. The reason I went with this school is threefold. First, I really liked the principal, superintendent, and teachers that I met. They were really enthusiastic about me coming there and it seemed like a good teaching environment. Secondly, I will get to teach the age range that I prefer, 10th through 12th graders (and probably an AP course). At a lot of the other schools I looked at I would have been teaching 8th and 9th graders instead. Lastly, Camden and the surrounding area seem pretty liveable. Sara and I are travelling down there next week to finalize the details, sign the contract, and find a place to live. Exciting!
Getting the job is still punctuated by sadness, though. We both really love Fayetteville, so it will be hard to move. We love being close to family and the friends we have made over the years, as well as being a part of our church, Vintage Fellowship. It seems somewhat like a miracle that there is a group of Christians that share our sensibilities and, frankly, don't scare us. So we are going to Camden with a mixture of apprehension and excitement, which I suppose is true for every move. I am optimistic about living in Camden, but I hope to find a job in this area and move back after a few years.
So, who am I and what am I doing? I am a teacher. I am moving to Camden, Arkansas.
And yet in some ways this year has felt like a failure. Not one that I regret, but a failure none the less. I have enjoyed tutoring to a certain degree. Working with some students over time and watching their successes, such as getting into grad school with the personal statement we worked on or simply just improving their written English, was gratifying. But it wasn't teaching. It was a year on hold. An extremely non-lucrative year on hold.
And then my life course altered drastically and suddenly. I thought that I was going to be employed by the tutoring center over the summer, only to be informed three days prior to the end of the semester that I wouldn't be. That, coupled with our growing student loan debt, prompted me to action. I had planned on applying to teaching jobs in the area, but there hadn't really been any openings in all of northwest Arkansas, so we decided that it was time to expand our search. One area that we had considered moving to was around Lexington, Kentucky, since it was a pretty area and because it was where some close friends lived. I found out that there was a job fair specifically for teachers near Lexington that week, so we drove up there and found that Kentucky wasn't really a viable option. Since I'm not certified to teach, I have to go into a non-traditional licensure program wherever I want to teach. The options in KY all cost in the ten to twenty thousand dollar range, whereas the option here in Arkansas cost $2,400. So, it took travelling to Kentucky to find out that I needed to stay in my home state. Also, it wasn't until we discussed moving to KY that we realized that we could move since Sara has one more year left in her MFA, but she can finish her last year anywhere (she's mostly just working on her thesis, which is a manuscript length compilation of poetry).
So the past three weeks we have been travelling all over the state for interviews. The first place we visited, which was in Humphrey, was, well, sort of pathetic looking. It was in a shoddy little building with a hand-painted sign, surrounded by the ugly flatlands of the Arkansas delta. Inside it was nicer, and there were exciting aspects of the school, such as the fact that every student has a laptop, but ultimately it wasn't for us. It was a charter school of only 40 students, so the position didn't feel very secure, but mainly the issue was that we didn't think we could live in the delta. I believe that everyplace needs good teachers, and I feel drawn to serving the underserved, but the brown flatness of it depressed us.
We had some other failures, most notably not receiving a job offer that I thought for sure I was going to get from Pulaski Academy, which is one of the nicest schools in the state, but ultimately we found a school that we both felt good about. I received several job offers, but I decided to go with the one from Harmony Grove High School, which is just outside of Camden. The reason I went with this school is threefold. First, I really liked the principal, superintendent, and teachers that I met. They were really enthusiastic about me coming there and it seemed like a good teaching environment. Secondly, I will get to teach the age range that I prefer, 10th through 12th graders (and probably an AP course). At a lot of the other schools I looked at I would have been teaching 8th and 9th graders instead. Lastly, Camden and the surrounding area seem pretty liveable. Sara and I are travelling down there next week to finalize the details, sign the contract, and find a place to live. Exciting!
Getting the job is still punctuated by sadness, though. We both really love Fayetteville, so it will be hard to move. We love being close to family and the friends we have made over the years, as well as being a part of our church, Vintage Fellowship. It seems somewhat like a miracle that there is a group of Christians that share our sensibilities and, frankly, don't scare us. So we are going to Camden with a mixture of apprehension and excitement, which I suppose is true for every move. I am optimistic about living in Camden, but I hope to find a job in this area and move back after a few years.
So, who am I and what am I doing? I am a teacher. I am moving to Camden, Arkansas.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Recent Readings
Since I last posted about reading Joyce, I have read:
Freakonomics, by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt
Bastard out of Carolina, by Dorothy Allison
Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress, by Dai Sijie
Freakonomics was fairly disappointing, but perhaps that is only because I had such high hopes from it. It's publicity mainly comes from its startling assertion that the crime drop seen in the mid-90s occurred because of the 1973 Roe v Wade ruling that struck down laws outlawing abortion. If you have not heard this claim, the reasoning is that introducing abortion prevented a generation of mostly poor, unwanted children from being born. And since this demographic is the one most likely to commit a crime, crime decreased. Overall, the argument makes sense to me, but I don't think it should, nor was it intended to, change people's opinions on abortion since they run along moral lines, which this information does not affect. The downfall of the book, though, is that the rest of its chapters are less intriguing, though the chapter on cheating in Sumo wrestling was pretty interesting.
Bastard out of Carolina was the best book I've read of recent. It details the struggles of a girl coming of age in a poor family and the repercussions of the sexual, emotional, and physical abuse she suffers from her step-father. It was very clearly semi-autobiographical, as its raw details were too harrowingly realistic. This topic is very difficult for me, so it was an emotional read. Still, it was not an overwhelmingly dark book. Also, it offered a psychologically nuanced view of several characters where it would have been easy to have pushed them to be as expected. Overall it was well done, yet not quite breathtaking.
Ender's Game was somewhat of a disappointment, but also very enjoyable. Since it is regaled as the greatest sci-fi book of all time, I met it with certain expectations. To a certain extent, it met them. The story was gripping, its world was interesting enough, and it managed to interest me by its sci-fi gadgetry without becoming carried away. Ultimately, though, Ender fails as an intriguing character. Oddly enough, he was too messianic for me. Real people have flaws; they fail, at least at times. Ender was always the best. At everything, quasi-immediately. I almost got suckered into reading the rest of the series, but decided it was more worth my time to just read the plot summaries on wikipedia. I'll wager I was right about that.
Lastly, Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress was moderately interesting, though mainly not for its literary qualities but for the section of history it captures. It takes place during the Cultural Revolution in China during the early 1970s, which, since is was also mildly autobiographical, makes for a good read. If you are unfamiliar with this section of history, spend a little time here. The anti-intellectualism and blind pastoral obsession with the simplicity of peasant life wrecked the country for years, and it's worth investigating the reasoning and events that led up to this movement.
I have also started Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, by Nick Flynn, and The Blind Assassin, but Margaret Atwood, but neither book was able to hold my interest. Please post if you have read either of these and would recommend them.
Freakonomics, by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt
Bastard out of Carolina, by Dorothy Allison
Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card
Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress, by Dai Sijie
Freakonomics was fairly disappointing, but perhaps that is only because I had such high hopes from it. It's publicity mainly comes from its startling assertion that the crime drop seen in the mid-90s occurred because of the 1973 Roe v Wade ruling that struck down laws outlawing abortion. If you have not heard this claim, the reasoning is that introducing abortion prevented a generation of mostly poor, unwanted children from being born. And since this demographic is the one most likely to commit a crime, crime decreased. Overall, the argument makes sense to me, but I don't think it should, nor was it intended to, change people's opinions on abortion since they run along moral lines, which this information does not affect. The downfall of the book, though, is that the rest of its chapters are less intriguing, though the chapter on cheating in Sumo wrestling was pretty interesting.
Bastard out of Carolina was the best book I've read of recent. It details the struggles of a girl coming of age in a poor family and the repercussions of the sexual, emotional, and physical abuse she suffers from her step-father. It was very clearly semi-autobiographical, as its raw details were too harrowingly realistic. This topic is very difficult for me, so it was an emotional read. Still, it was not an overwhelmingly dark book. Also, it offered a psychologically nuanced view of several characters where it would have been easy to have pushed them to be as expected. Overall it was well done, yet not quite breathtaking.
Ender's Game was somewhat of a disappointment, but also very enjoyable. Since it is regaled as the greatest sci-fi book of all time, I met it with certain expectations. To a certain extent, it met them. The story was gripping, its world was interesting enough, and it managed to interest me by its sci-fi gadgetry without becoming carried away. Ultimately, though, Ender fails as an intriguing character. Oddly enough, he was too messianic for me. Real people have flaws; they fail, at least at times. Ender was always the best. At everything, quasi-immediately. I almost got suckered into reading the rest of the series, but decided it was more worth my time to just read the plot summaries on wikipedia. I'll wager I was right about that.
Lastly, Balzac and the Little Chinese Seamstress was moderately interesting, though mainly not for its literary qualities but for the section of history it captures. It takes place during the Cultural Revolution in China during the early 1970s, which, since is was also mildly autobiographical, makes for a good read. If you are unfamiliar with this section of history, spend a little time here. The anti-intellectualism and blind pastoral obsession with the simplicity of peasant life wrecked the country for years, and it's worth investigating the reasoning and events that led up to this movement.
I have also started Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, by Nick Flynn, and The Blind Assassin, but Margaret Atwood, but neither book was able to hold my interest. Please post if you have read either of these and would recommend them.
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